We are hoping that this open letter will be able to convey the level of gratitude we feel towards you. Finally, the much awaited and oft-promised acche din are here! Did take some time, but sirji, ‘der aaye durust aaye’. My eyes swell with tears of pride when I think of the progress the country’s youth will now be making. Let’s Make in India and not Makeout in India, you say?
When our esteemed Prime Minister said “swachh bharat” and “digital India”, I thought these were two different missions, but looks like he was talking about “swachh digital India”! Duh! Silly me.
Now, having saved me, my future son Billu and pasod wale Sharmaji from the ill-effects of porn, the government has also saved the izzats of all the bahu-betis. I am sure it will directly results in lessening or even complete eradication of eve teasing and rapes. If not, the girl always has the open option of calling the rapist bhaiyaa. See, we need no pepper sprays; we can make do with indigenous remedies. For the frustrated souls who are addicted to getting their porn doses with their dinners and breakfasts, well they can prevent their b***s from bursting by just doing aalom-vilom. Breathe in and out, that’s right, in and out….
After all, no shareef Bharatiya watches porn, and even if they do, it is ghor paap which must be prevented. The government has given the middle finger (pardon my explicit language) to all these paapis and of course, if the government will not oversee our interests like a bade bhaiya (big brother), who else will. We are too feeble to stop ourselves, so it makes sense to remove the root cause of the problem – na rahega baas na bajegi basuri!
On the other hand if you really do need to see sexual pictures, head over to Khajuraho and at least pay the government some royalty for your perverse pleasures. People call it art, but I am sure the government won’t agree, however as long as you can pay for your means of perverse gratifications like alcoholism, smoking, chewing-gutka(and spitting it everywhere), porn pictography, well at least you are contributing to your country, so we will let that slide.
Of course, as everyone knows Indians are technologically challenged and we don’t know how to use proxies, so we are safe from the dangers of illegally downloading or watching the damaging stuff.
Now, the question is, what do we do with our high speed internet plans? Any ideas?